Summertime

Sunday, March 30, 2003

i miss mo.

if you're lost, you can look and you will find me
if you fall i will catch you, i'll be waiting..
lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, and think of you.
turning in circles confusion. is nothing new

my tudi's phone got confiscated. muahahahaha..
i'm so bad.. but, -shrug-

i think waichee's blog is so cool. -yipee!!- -k-kick- haha~ watched the pianist just now.. great show. left me so mesmerised. her blog is so funky.. smth tt i would use if i were in sec two. -squeal- i likeeeeeeee!! :) oh, there was a stupid face of a punk at the begining of each entry.. i removed it.

lalala, i think this is cool. doesnt looking at this make you feel refreshed? like you just came out of a shower or smth? bah.. forgive me, i'm rather off today. lala~ again, this has no shooting stars. -bish- oh, waichee has a new blog. cool! can i link you dear? all links will probably -proberly- go to the other one i suppose, this shall be a non-link site. yeabba.. hello waichee. -cuRtseY- hello francis. i feel so satisfied today. oh, we're getting a new fishbowl!

Saturday, March 29, 2003

i dont like pple who go off in the middle of a conversation without saying bye.
i dont like pple who appear bored on purpose.
i dont see how tish can be correct. -peer-

i like my new revamp. you should take a look at it. i think it rawks. except tt the stars dont show up. a handful of shooting stars are supposed to bounce out each time you click. :( oh well.. i think i'll change this layout too. soon. savour it while you can. -biSh-

Friday, March 28, 2003

she says till june is oh so very short.. i thought it was long enough, maybe too long.

i have thirty six new mails. thanks.. just one day and i cant reply any of them cos my mailbox is full.

hmm.. my entire class seems to be online now. i keep getting a new mail from each person every..like, two minutes? cool. and oh yes, if you havent heard, just is in my class. isnt tt great? -beam-

i've never saw blue like tt before.. across the sky, around the world. no one else has ever shown me how to see the world the way i see it now

playing with crayons just now. i lyke colours. so vibrant.. so alive. i drew a pretty rainbow and blended the colours. its so carefree. doodling.. what giddy word. its like riding on a boat.

i feel so -blaghhk- now. i want to do popping. i want to talk to you. i wish you were here with me. right by my side. it doesnt matter if we're not saying anything. it doesnt take words to understand how i feel. i've never felt this way before. i mean.. not for you. i'm not sure if its a good thing. i think it'll freak you out. haha~ haihan called again today. -wriggLe- sorry to get distracted. its just flooding me.. tormenting. argh..

pages of shades of gree, black and yellow suddenly look boring. the first page with rainbow colours still look the best.

know what this means? i wont have to leave dance early for oliver. muahaha~

Thursday, March 27, 2003

smths i even cut myself to see how much it bleeds, its like adrenaline the pain is like a sudden rush for me

was listening to my jay cd this morning.. and when i heard tt song images of us sitting on the swing flooded my mind. still remember you teaching me tt song. it was the first of his songs tt i heard. then i thought of ryan singing it waving his arms in the air.. and how we joined in. now i'm listening to another ryan-song now. i wrote this line on rain's paper. nice nice niceeee

And today, i realised that everyone's crying out for joy at the holidays declared due to a death.
I'm no exception, after all, i always look at the bright side of life! =)

i'm in a crashing mood now. i want to find sibird. i want to find didi.. i want to see his pretty girl. i want to find my cousin. i want to sit on a roller coaster. ahah~

i'm so bouncy now. so happy.. dont ask me why. i cant wipe tt perpetual smile of my face. bahh.. -whee-
i want to so do everything properly with ardrey and esther. ,rjadfklhdfasjkl. i cant sit still.

we went to nj yesterday. funnn.. now i know what they mean when they say s3 pple are fun. hahah.. the canteen aunty is bias against pple like us :( -hmphf- gave us so little -double hmphf- but.. oh my! nj has such a nice chocolate bun! i mean.. its so niceee.. ahh.. i admire xm and all the other pple who got moved there. :/ we met kene-t-h. he was wearing a rv uniform and looked different. i mean.. i think he went for plastic surgery or smth. anw, kept niaoing him.. the guy had block test the next day and didnt want to study.. but now i guess he neednt. he's the smartest person i know. wenhui went home to study.. and this ji po kept disturbing with his smses about mushy ple on the bus. bahh.. so basically we just sat in the canteen and made fun of each other. "why would i keep giving her bananas, think she's monkey ar..", "dont want la.. i'm her dance ic, not her mother" haha.. actually we just made fun of kene-th.

then we toured the school. and as usual i brought them around because... actually, i also have no idea why i know my way around the place. -shrug- we climbed the steps and felt like we were going to heaven. weixiang is so funny. we went to the circular balcony and i just started pointing telling them where places were. the staff room, go, library, com labs, lts, classrooms, hall.. you get the idea. then weixiang was like, "lydat i also can.. tt's a pond, pillar.. and tt is kene-t-h." hahah..

he kept suaning kene th. smth bout him being a giraffee.
how's the weather up there.. hot right? cos hot air rises. i bet you didnt know tt cos you didnt study chem.
chem? i thought its physics..
its chem la, i just learnt it..

then i heard smth bout vaporisation.. we went into every lt just for fun. first we would peek in to see if anyone was there. and if there were, we would open the door and pretend we went to the wrong place. la'me right? ok.. i must be boring you pple. if you have made it this far, congratulations. this is going to be long.. i can forsee, so you may want to consider stopping here.

i walked tish to the carpark to find her mum and met yancho on the way. apparantly they saw us entering the lt. heh~ the jennifer teacher saw me and asked if i was going to see some hod. i think she thinks i'm in nj.. i didnt even knew she recognised me. eeps! i saw this s6 guy there.. the skunk photocopy.. he thinks i'm in nj too.. and so do alot of nj pple. cool. this is so great. -beamm- xm even thought so too.. i miss you so much! i hope you dont get sars. anastasia asked me if i were in nj. and of cos i told her yes. i hope she doesnt kill me. she always does. looked so cute yesterday. i miss all of them. -blinkkk- i want to go for class today. do you know tt i'm all prepared? arghh.. i want. i want. i want. i'm so sian and restless here. i need to work with ardrey.. pei yang moqi as hhl would say. i want to find sibird. -squirm-

actually, i think this is better. i can let my spoilt leg rest. two weeks is all it needs. but then... ?!?!!?

Wednesday, March 26, 2003

she left me roses by the stairs// surprises let me know she cares*

it was a great day to see so many familiar faces in school again. kind of rawks..

halfway through today i was wondering if i had made the right choice to come here instead of nj.

i got so -bruuughh- today tt all of a sudden i felt like dancing. the urgh was so great to go back to familiar grounds.. we walked back to school. tish noticed the new swings for the first time. she must not have been back recently. haha. i just wanted to sit on the slippery, soft, cold floor and feel the cool air between my toes. just jump and stamp and let the semi hollow sound fill my ears. it was indeed a rejuvenating experience to stand on what was once my territory. but we had to leave pretty soon. tish wanted to find miss chen. talking to her was great, even though i seldom.. make tt never, do. then we saw laoshi. she treated us to lunch. neither of us were hungry, but we ate anyway. we told her stories.. nice ones, pathetic ones. she shared her's too. then she gave us invaluable advice.. as usual. qian mian de lu hen chang, bu yao wei zhe xie xi jie er fan nao.. tt's all i can remember. thankfully i didnt go find miss yeo. she will give rg-advice. which is probably telling us to fight for what we want and leave the school if we dont get it. smth like tt.. and i'll have to tell the the story from the very start. though i miss her, i guess this was not the time. i'm glad i got true blue nanyang advice. haha~ she's more or a guo lai ren than miss yeo is i think.

g-tang called me by my full name today. i was stunned. my whole body froze. slowly, i pivoted on my heels to face his direction. he asked, "so what school are you in now." -beam- its great to be treated in the same old familiar way once again.

i saw my jnrs. they came out of class to wave. -beam-

we were late in leaving school we had the guard open the side gate for us. -yeah- we took a bus. laoshi gave us instruction not to run, or rush.. i guess she wanted us to enter with style. and we did.. we were about twenty minutes late and we just walked in with the whole entire lt's attention on us. late.. as usual. but dancers are always late. -justifiable-

we kinda mistook angel for boon today. -eeps- then we realised his girlfriend was not with him.. and he was wearing the wrong shoes. -haha-

we're going to nj for lunch tmrw. its kinda weird how everyone can just go and do things together like tt even though they dont know each other. -lalala-

class zapped my energy today. i was crap. i think mr chong is thankful tt i didnt go to nj in the end. haha.. tt's good :))

Tuesday, March 25, 2003

I wanna tell you the things I've seen
I wanna take you to where I've been
And I wish you were here with me

Monday, March 24, 2003

just when i least expected it, my dragon msged me. this non-existant dragon of mine.. this dragon whom i no longer really talk to.. this dragon.

i was shocked. i was stunned.. i was squealing with excitement at his concern. i mean.. of all pple! ha! it just made me feel blessed to know tt ple out there care. i want to love my class. so much.. -huggs-

haihan has slept. -bish- so early?!?
oh well..

Sunday, March 23, 2003

i'm in a crappy mood now. talked to so many pple today. weird.

just something about you
the way i'm looking at you, whatever
you keep looking at me
i kinda noticed something one night...
if you smile then that should set the tone
just remember,
late at night I talk to you

i know what's going to happen. i know i have nothing to worry about. yet somehow, there's this nagging fear within. everyone's afraid. i let it get to me. i need to talk to someone. you're probably in school or smth now.. i think haihan is studying. i think everyone else is probably asleep or smth. bah... i am numb.

Saturday, March 22, 2003

i opened up my dad's clie and there was a reminder in big bold letters: Miss Singapore Universe Grand Finals (MCS TV Theatre) Dresscode: Lounge Suit - not attending Oliver.

lalala.. i think it means tt they're going for oliver instead. bah. i'm going for oliver too! on wednesday. know what this sounds like? eepsss! -jumps!-

the chances of this dream becoming reality seems bleak.
i forgot all about it.. till the ri pple reminded me. remember you are suppose to go to hc and win back the trophy? how are you going to do tt if you dont go to hc? haha.. so funny.

it'll be cool if sa got into sa.

i wonder where sihuan decided to go in the end

tish tore up joshua's math tutorial yesterday to catch the spider. -hysterical-

and now the purple dust of twilight time, steals across the meadows of my heart. high up in sky the little stars climb, always reminding me that we're apart. you wandered down the lane and far away, leaving me a song that will not die. love is now the stardust of yesterday.. the music of the years gone by. sometimes i wonder, how i spend the lonely nights.. dreaming of a song, the melody huants my reverie and i am once again with you.. when our love was new and each kiss an inspiration. but tt was long ago, now my consolation is in the stardust of the song. besides the garden wall when stars are bright, you are in my eyes. the nightingale tells his fairytale - a paradise where roses bloom. though i dream in vain, in my heart it will remain - my stardust melody.

remind me to go off at five.

i was in a shitty mood today. i was woken up much too early than preferred. it got better the moment i saw monster and the rest.. the sian look etched on their faces.. it's amazing how seeing pple sianner than you immediately unsians you. cool. totally unproductive. i just sat on the blue sofa doing nothing, admiring the sickbay while pple around me hurried me and told me to 'just drop the thing in the basket already..' -sheesh- went to disturb rain and nikki again today. this time i brought them food. i feel quite bad distracting them and all.. bah. maybe i will just sleep in on monday. hmm.. random thought again. -shrug- its pretty strange typing on a laptop. somehow the keys seem to be further apart today.

just now i was playing the official soundtrack once through.. my dad came walking and adjusted the sound system thing. causually, he asked me what song tt was. i pretended not to notice. then after a few more tracks, he said, "is this ur dance music?" cool huh? my dad rawks. must be because i did tt a few years back before syf too. haha.. just played the vcd over and over and over again to hear the song. -beam- just tt this time it is an official cd. lalala~

rain, "aye... let you hear my syf song."
rain ten minutes later.. "want to listen to track seven?"
rain twelve minutes later.. "how bout listening to track nine.."
-beam-

discontinue if symptoms of insanity appear.

Wednesday, March 19, 2003

the first day of school will be another great grand reunion at nj. rawks.. everyone will be there, cept waichee and bell. imagine the whole world in the same school! yayy!! i'm truly hyper now. its such a euphoric thought. we can all eat ice kachang and drink nj milo. it'll be so fun. ahah~ i'm serious.. -beam- go nj and find ronald.. somehow this keeps hovering around at the mention of nj. too bad all you pple who cant go to nj on the first day of school. you'll just have to miss out the fun. aww.. so sad :( oh, after school tt day or maybe after one, we can all go back to school to visit. yippee~ this reminds me, call shuxuan. -twirLs- -skip- -fly-

-bish- my class is sending out dumb mails.. typical. -shrug-

swimming yesterday was a blast. but i had to turn down janice.. shit, i feel so bad. arghh.. i really feel really bad. oh my. this cant be happening. nmind, i shall get her pocky. today joshua didnt help me :( i even promised him pocky! all he did was just stand there and act blur while rain ran off with my stuff. -grrr- but its okkk.. i'm nice. -cuRtseY-

bumped into the soccer ple today again.. and i finally found out after much pointing and whispering and giggles that his name is.. -shit- his name is.. tian ming? jian ming? yeah, think tt's it. of cos all the soccer ple saw the pointing and stuff. they walked over to our side in the wing. particularly, james. i mean.. eeppppppppppppppps!! i was so terrified i didnt dare look in that direction. he scares me. -shiver- i hope he doesnt see this. -cringe- he has a scary face. what to do? oh well.. but the seven zero guy is nice. we said 'hi' simultaneously. -beam- i must sound utterly childish. rain and i were doing our 'onehundred' on the benches.. but tish kept niaoing us.. telling us tt we'll hurt our tail bones and what nots. it was so funny that we didnt even need the onehundreds. :) "you should do it on the bed.. so soft, you can do it better there", "let me try.. so harddd! -props up a smth behind-" then joshua had to disrupt our one hundred by telling us we were doing it all wrong. we must have been high or smth cos we found it hilarious. figuring out various ways to do the onehundred. i dont think we did it in the end.. -pOut- david came along halfway to retrieve his bag. i think his in soccer. hmm.. anw, it triggered off another laughing fit. i think we disturbed the pple mugging quite a bit. heh.. i asked him why his shirt was so dirty. "i rolled around on the grass" tt's what he said if i'm not wrong. ohohoh.. then he proceded to tell me tt his bother saw me tt day. i didnt even know his brother knew me. hmm.. rain asked me what his name was and his brother's name. "james", i answered. we jian fu hou yang-ed again.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

h-tail... i lyke ur ring. -beam- but i dropped it on the plate today. oops..

Sunday, March 16, 2003

today we took a walk up the street, picked a flower, climbed the hill above the lake. and secret thoughts were said aloud, we watched the faces in the clouds, until the clouds had blown away.

this is bad. i'm suppose to be studying.. bah. wanted to get my cd when i was out today.. but then, dunno wad stopped me. -bish- i'm quite glad the holidays are here.. i mean, i was in the holiday mood since last year, at least now i can wake up later and go out more often. i want to get so much stuff i know i'll never get. ahah.. i like holidays, it means another new wishlist. -whee!- lalala, i'm semi broke now. quite saddening. it just means i'll have less to eat. that's a good thing too actually. i didnt have the donuts i wanted today. didnt venture into tt area. runaway bride just now. still remember the previous time i watched it. on five eight i think.. i went to find all the songs after tt and i kept singing them to xm and bell. still remember, it was around sec three council elections.. we were in the hall and i started singing. "martina mcbride." bell said.. then we sang blue eyes blue, and this sec two girl.. two eight i think, turned to look at us. ahah~ mouse and xm then tried to teach me the orbit song. hmm.. wonder why this is still vividly etched in my head. -shrug- wonder if anyone else remember this episode. runaway bride songs are coming from the speakers now.. its amazing how fast the time just passes me by.

and i'm in so electrically charged up
kinetically acting
erratically need you
fanatically you get to me
magically sure as the sky is blue

lift up ur hand, strike up the band and make the fireflies dance, silvermoon's sparkling..

chill out, wad's she yelling for
lay back, it's all been done before
and if you could only let it be you would see
I like you the way you are
When we're driving in ur car
And you're not talking to me one-on-one
but you've become somebody else, round everyone else
you're watching your back, like you can relax
you're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
tell me..

Saturday, March 15, 2003

oh no.. i'm listening to re tai yu lin now. its the photo.. sounds like a chinese compo to me. haha.. but its too much to bear, seeing sepharin, huishan, cheryl at huang cheng. seeing the photo.. remembering that few hours. ahhh!! i cannot take this any longer.. -breath- samuel must be in the photo.. -grr- bumping into the.. er... -censored-.. bumping into fulun's previous form teacher.. all thought provoking events. bah.. timothy is indeed the ernesco guy. jeanette was right. "if you go to hwa chong you will see timothy.." and i did. this is a small world. everything is so coincidental. samuel is so talented. he's so brillant. argh.. a song is so different when you have a vitual memory attached to it. And I wish it could get back there. Some place back there

i guess i'll just let all these flood my mind. let all the emotions surface. savour the moments.. its not all the time you get a rush of emotions.
I want something else, I'm not listening when you say
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye
goodbye....

listening to the song xiaohui they all sang tt day. it feels so good. to sort of re-live the moments. rawks..
i'm in a schmaltzy mood now. ok, i know this is not used this way.. but its such a nice word. what a mouthful.
just watched 'you've got mail'.. i've watched it so many times. but this time was different. i cried. twice. i dont know why.. it just seems so exhilerating, and yet so sad at the same time. i mean.. i was exhuasted. so tired after this week. i guess that was why i was engrossed in the movie.. if you dont count the cookies.. the music, the words. the stuff tom hanks, joe fox, says to kathleen. i dunno why, but it struck something in me. it 'provoked me'. ahah~ its like pretty woman, only less happy. wo bi zi yi suan, lei shui bian zai wo yan kuang chu xian, and i let them fall. it's been a long time since i last did smth like this. i've watched the show so many times.. i knew what would happen next.. today i felt it was a great movie. i think i will suffer from withdrawal symptoms. no more talentime.. no more huang cheng. i foresee this void appearing. half my class will be gone, the whole place will be different. the whole atmosphere. i am overwhelmed.

ni zui hai pa gu dan de zi wei
ni de xing na me cui, yi peng jiu hui sui
jing bu qi yi dian feng chui
ni shen bian zong shi xu yao xu duo ren pei
ni zui hai pa mei tian de tian hei
dan shi tian zhong hui hei, ren zhong yao li bie
shui ye bu neng yong yuan pei shui
er gu dan de zi wei, shui dou yao mian dui
bu zhi shi ni wo hui gan jue dao pi bei

suddenly i like this..

after washing my head twice last night and twice this morning, i went to school with a streak of pale pink on my head. -grrrr- cant believe i didnt notice tt. so... eeps! but the pink streaks looked so nice last night. i want to get a bottle too. funnn.. pink and blue hair look good. not together though, of cos not!

i had so much to say. i still do. but i just dont feel like it. it has been a long time since my fingers are doing this, it feels alien. went out with my monster today - it rawked. you probably are not the least bit interested in what we saw and did and i probably am not in the mood to do so now. i have a call to make.. -grr- perhaps if i feel like it i shall come back soon. dont hold it against me. i still remember you.

Sunday, March 09, 2003

my sister played the first track of ba tu kong jian this morning - its still her favourite song. and i started doing the basketball routine. eeps!! haha.. but its fun. almost as fun as our pumping oil action. -jumps-

bu xiang tai duo
wo xiang yi ding shi wo ting cuo, nong cuo, gao cuo
bai tuo...
wo xiang she ni de nao dai you wen ti.

this is my favourite part... and its stuck in my head! grr...

i'm not suppose to be here... but let's see if anyone notices.
my mum didnt allow me to go out today. my dad is overseas.. just left this morning. if not she would have relented. after all.. he said i must be guai from monday to sunday.. one week, which technically does not include today. oh well.. -shrug- bout new slippers today. pink! from fifth avenue. i wanted the periwinkle ones.. but my sister wanted the yellow ones. and i already have cute slippers. so... i dont really wear them often anw. my mum liked the pink ones.. and i thought they were much better compared to the yellow pair. so.. i decided on the colour, my sister chose the size. they're one size too big for me. :( but oh well, its ok. pink is a nice colour. fortunately i dont look good in it. this pair doesnt look exactly nice on me. one day when i have pink toes or smth i shall wear them. -nodd-

Thursday, March 06, 2003

i hate the way you talk to me;
and the way you cut ur hair.
i hate the way you drive my car,
i hate it when you stare.
i hate ur big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind;
i hate you so much it makes me sick,
it even makes me rhyme.
i hate it when u're always right.
i hate it when you lie.
i hate it when you make me laugh,
even worse when you make me cry.
i hate it when you're not around,
and the fact that you didnt call...
but most of all i hate the way i dont hate you.
not even close..
not even a little bit,
not even at all.

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

i know!!!!
sihuan's jnr is my funny faceeeeeeeeeee!!!

i'm so smart. -cuRtseY-

funny face. funny face.
who was it tt i always called funny face?

anw, funny faces are cute. -beam- rain gave me a donut today.. her donut man gave her three. tish was in a kissing mood today. diya's song is stuck in our heads. waikit was glistening. i thought j-en was shijun and xiaowei was michelle. joseph came to school today, and did his thing again. -sigh- siwei doesnt seem pissed with me today. phew. sat next to ryan alot today. he's excited about having a fanclub. you should have seen his eyes light up. evange and the rest of the class did their eye-hinting thing alot today.. when haihan was in class esp. -hides- the scholar-brillant guy is not bad. and timothy is funny.

"every year we will hold exponage...-blahblah-"
"huh? what??"
"aiyah, not ur exponential la..."
-bOggled-

Monday, March 03, 2003

everyone's either deciding btw hc and nj, or rj and nj.
and nj is always losing.
it must be the substitute school for all.
ahah~

i was seriously considering nj today during class. i mean, she was going on and on about dance stuff. it made my mind wander off to search for the point where my dance actually became of an acceptable.. it was from chinese dance actually. which is usually quite a weird thing. so comparing.. i realised tt looking from a dance pov, nj would be better. obvioiusly. not only is it first, mr chong will look after me. anastasia's right. hc is damn slack. and we dont do anything except walk around. not tt walking around is any less degrading, but i dont exactly like it. i cant walk for nuts. give me jumps and stretching anytime.. yeah. i dont exactly like spins too. heh~ then with all the nj pple persuading... it seemed ok. as in.. an ok place to be. i mean.. why not? all the, "aye, i thought you would be coming down for practice today..", all the, "i heard tt you.... blah blah blah.. but didnt see you. -sigh-" but i'm not sure if those pple are even staying.

anw, my parents like totally disapprove of nj? hmm.. they make it sound tt its dumb for me to even want to consider. ??!?!? so there you have the mr chong, yifen.. and all the other dance pple pulling. and the waichee, parents and everyone else pushing. and i'll be more than a flowerpot in nj. being short i will prolly be near the front. so even if i'm a flowerpot.. which is unlikely, cos mr chong doesnt use flowerpots, i'll be a nice one. ahah~ but then going go a school just for its eca is pathetic. its absurd. but nj in terms of study is not bad. just tt they run for pe. but so does hc.

my parents made me say tt i will go to hc if i can make it. and they say tt they will make sure i stay. oh cool. i'd like to see tt. but this was a hidden trump card. i wasnt prepared for this. -wriggLe- lalala~ i'm rambling again

i was seriously considering nj today during class. i mean, she was going on and on about dance stuff. it made my mind wander off to search for the point where my dance actually became of an acceptable.. it was from chinese dance actually. which is usually quite a weird thing. so comparing.. i realised tt looking from a dance pov, nj would be better. obvioiusly. not only is it first, mr chong will look after me. anastasia's right. hc is damn slack. and we dont do anything except walk around. not tt walking around is any less degrading, but i dont exactly like it. i cant walk for nuts. give me jumps and stretching anytime.. yeah. i dont exactly like spins too. heh~ then with all the nj pple persuading... it seemed ok. as in.. an ok place to be. i mean.. why not? all the, "aye, i thought you would be coming down for practice today..", all the, "i heard tt you.... blah blah blah.. but didnt see you. -sigh-" but i'm not sure if those pple are even staying.

anw, my parents like totally disapprove of nj? hmm.. they make it sound tt its dumb for me to even want to consider. ??!?!? so there you have the mr chong, yifen.. and all the other dance pple pulling. and the waichee, parents and everyone else pushing. and i'll be more than a flowerpot in nj. being short i will prolly be near the front. so even if i'm a flowerpot.. which is unlikely, cos mr chong doesnt use flowerpots, i'll be a nice one. ahah~ but then going go a school just for its eca is pathetic. its absurd. but nj in terms of study is not bad. just tt they run for pe. but so does hc.

my parents made me say tt i will go to hc if i can make it. and they say tt they will make sure i stay. oh cool. i'd like to see tt. but this was a hidden trump card. i wasnt prepared for this. -wriggLe- lalala~ i'm rambling again

this is so sad. francis is not even going to consider coming back. everybody has to appeal. why must everyone get sucky results. i mean... not everyone who appeals can stay lor. i mean, waichee will come in. definately. dunno if xm wants to.. but if she does she'll definately be able to. all my friends are coming in. and all my friends are leaving. sad sad sad saddd.. then we cant be in the same school anymore. -wriggle.

close ur eyes so you dont feel it
they dont need to see you cry
i cant promise i can heal you
but if you want to i will try

Sunday, March 02, 2003

actually i'm comforted. all the pple who tong zhou kong ku with me are talking to me now. and we are all so pissed but talking about happy stuff really takes ur mind off things. (except siwei. he's starting to piss me off again. -arghh- -grit teeth-) its like suddenly all the aquantainces go one step further. suddenly all the old and dormant relationships become active. cool. and there's only so long you can be pissed. it requires energy to be sad anw.. way too much.

sigh, everyone will leave. this is sad. and just when i'm starting to get to know them better. sheeshhhhhhh

xiang xiao, lai wei zhuang diao xia de yan lei
dian dian tou, cheng ren zi ji hui pa hei
xiang ku, lai shi tan zi ji ma bi le mei
quan shi jie, hao xiang zhi you wo pi bei
wu suo wei, fan zheng nan guo jiu fu yan yi hui
dan yuan jue wang he wu nai yuan zou gao fei

aiyahhhh.. i want to highlight my hair. i want blonde highlights!! i want. i wannnntt. -pOut- too bad i'm in school. can i dont go jc?

so far.. i am still the lousiest. -applaud please-
my class ple were all so nice today. the non small friend pple. i am so lucky. kanga, rain and xiaoyuan too.. i am really blessed. tish is in the same boat as me. wo men tong zhou gong ji. this sucks. my chinese sucks. i suck. somehow i wished i had retaken chinese. it will not make any difference to my score.. but it will make me feel better. arghhh. -bish- why do i make queer decisions. -bishba- its amazing how pple stop bothering you when you put on a smile and say you are proud of your results. i'm glad i can. -cuRtseY-

after reaching my emotional quota today, i was feeling great. so happy and carefree, laughing at pple making dumb comments.. doing typical nanyang childish stuff once again. then i had to see wenhui. seeing wenhui wasnt the bad thing. i sensed and sort of knew haihan was with the group. i walked away immediately but i was not quick enough for him. he made me listen when he spoke. somehow bad robin knew and so he and selfappointedknight knew. anw, he told me to forget it and go to aj. thanks ar.. i so needed to hear tt. thankfully rain was there.. but it made tish and i feel the pits once again. then xielaoshi spoke to us. and all of a sudden, i felt bad about being stupid. it suddenly felt wrong.. so terribly wrong. i mean, i always thought it was ok to be dumb. but today.. sigh.

oh well.. i want to go for funk tmrw if i'm not too tired.
i hate all the pple who go round flaunting their results.
i mean.. dont stuff your ten a1s in our faces if we dont want to hear it. thankyou.
and.. its wonderful tt my class did so well. proud of you all.. well done!! :))

Saturday, March 01, 2003

my eyes are sore.
they hurt.
they're puffy
i have eyebags.
knew i should have slept the night before.
but then again.. would i be feeling this good if i did?

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