Summertime

Saturday, January 31, 2004

yipee! going out for a ten twenty show now! hope i wont be too late for dance :)

havent been here for quite a while. my last entry before january ends.

have been thinking a lot. have been through a turmoil of emotions. thanks to all who just talked crap to me. and to you for helping me work on my sub concious frown. :) i guess i've more or less come to a conclusion. now i am in full control of everything. i think i will do things my way from now on.

had a long talk with beefcake last night. sang a lot last night. we're quite similar, he's insightful. keeps asking me bout angel though. i mean.. i told him a lot. heh~ well, at least, he concluded, i didnt waste my time there last night. gonna kill bee.. he made me pon ballet for nothing! -grrrrrr- angel was there. i didnt meet his eye at all.

shit, i'm confused all over again. i'm quite irritated with ratface.

my plan fell through. first i went to sleep and then i didnt go for ballet.

maybe i should have talked to angel.

oh well..

beeyootiful.

listening to: So Yesterday - lmg

Monday, January 26, 2004

angel update: didnt see angel today. but i may give him a plaster. still have leftovers from syf.

"can i keep it so that i can look at the slightly fatter amber for a longer time?" -- no way! that wasnt fat. it's just distorted. and dont say such stuff, i dont know how to reply.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

new year's great. been so many places, visiting so much and just catching up with everyone. rawks.

was talking to eugene just now before i had to go back and entertain guests. he told me how he injure angel and how his fanclub is gonna kill him for it. i feigned innocence going, "he has a fan club? who's in it?" i mean.. just nominated me as president. heh~ i cant help it. its going on and on in my head.. in a good way. i feel like a schoolgirl all over again. i'm looking forward to school tmr. up to assembly only though..

Saturday, January 24, 2004

"but she doesnt. she just dances, flirthing about.. happy at last. happy at last in her world of shiny fluttering dreams."
man, i used to be so thin. and so stretchable. but of couse, my expression and style cant match up.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

typing is a chore now cos i dont wanna ruin my nails. i know i've been wanting to go to that nailspa but well, no time. prolly just do flowers later. today was fun. the shortest dance i did. it was like over... in no time. mrs chin kept smiling at me. -beams- maybe she recognises me. my hair is still up in a bun, with the yellow flowers in them and the glitter still shimmers against my hair. my mum helped with my pins in the car this morning. dont use so many, she said. so i have a gorgeous bun now. and i didnt use gel. :) i liked my makeup.

wore dot's sc uniform today. evange says i look like one. :) got suaned by the guys. not too sure if its a good thing. waichee, today i waved to angel and he smiled. thanks for keeping me company yesterday. i know i made you eat a lot. but not to worry, everything will only show up three days later, second day of cny. anyhow, i'm a happy girl again.. or so it seems.

went off before i could dance with haihan. had to pick my dad up at his office. tried two pairs of shoes that i fancied, but i got neither. somehow i didnt feel like looking twenty. -shrug-

joel's at my house now. and i want to cuddle him. aww..

doing jumps and spins in the landing just now. there goes my toes. know how the toes converge when you point? not good. oh well.. i cant be bothered anymore. going off to jiam's soon. i can just imagine the yummy fish and abalone. -awaits-

happy new year everyone!

Friday, January 16, 2004

ok. after today i'm totally for not going. first, i get a nice yummy dinner. second, i get to rest. on my feet all day i cant imagine through the night. i finally discovered a new use of my well practiced sad look. hope it isnt too rusty!

everywhere i went today i couldnt help but spot eyecandy. bet ninghan and lionel must have gotten irritated by my fasination. he's short.

was doing napfa pull ups test today. seven to show that we are all still in shape. i started doing and miss lam was like, "aiyah, this one can do fifty in a row." i mean.. ???!?!

i'm all stinky and still in my uniform. supper later!! i hope its smth nice.

hmm.. my ginormous bruise is gone. almost. looks like weiming and just's pushing must have paid off.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

this morning i couldnt walk. my feet ached too badly. dancing everyday has finally taken its tool on me. ouch. thankfully i ponned sunday's. think i'll leave early on sat too.

i have a hot angel.. as in literally. he sang a song in his letter to me today. :)

walked out with angel and beefcake today. he was like, "i waved to you but you didnt wave back." when i said he didnt wave to me. haha~ maybe i'll just hold on a little longer.. though i doubt it'll last.

anw, for the past two days, everyone has been trying to introduce me to my eyecandy. the problem is, i already was. sorry all.. and i kind of talked about him to micheal in front of him. talk about highly humilating. eeps!

Monday, January 12, 2004

i dunno what i want anymore. arghh..

today he was quiet. he didnt suan me or make dumb remarks this morning. he just sat... and shifted around in his seat beside me. he didnt smile. not even when i talked to him. that usual glimmer in his eyes were gone. today, we didnt talk much. he only told me bout our mortal, and offered me his kisses.. which ost took. we didnt talk while he stood on the other side of our classmates and tried to snap my finger with the fishing line. he was back to normal again. he reoffered me the kisses.. but i already had just's. i didnt want to talk to him then. i did, before.. i wanted to ask if he was alright. then.. -shrug- i know it will be different. and there's nothing i can do about it. i will just try to be there if he decides he wants someone else besides his teammates.

note: the two paragraphs are not related. today bunny told me she asked micheal and he didnt know. she shouldnt have told me that cos i have my doubts now. maybe i want out.. -ponders-

Friday, January 09, 2004

oh. waichee you made me sad that day. i didnt know i was sad actually till niggy asked me. couldnt listen during econs. guess i didnt know i felt that way huh. told huiqi bout it today. nice to tell kids cos you know they'll just listen and give the most obvious advice. anw, by around dinner tt day, tish called and i was in all smiles again.

you know what i'm refering to right, girl. cant wait to see you on monday. come in the morning k..

"you too." she said, "you look good in ur uniform."
i didnt know what to say. i mean.. i think i look like a fat pig. so.. -shrug- i just kept quiet.

guess its nice to be closer to bg. somehow i have this security that whatever i tell him he wont pass on to his teammates. hmm.. shant elaborate. not really in the mood.

i want a new leotard.

been going new year shopping and i'm exhuasted for the week. my sister has been asleep since she reached home this afternoon. hangover from yesterday it seems. got everything i didnt need and cant find my dress. -furrow brows- oh well..

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

i was charmed today.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

just made signs and posters for dance tmr. so fast and efficient. i love myself. i love my printer. looks like the posters i made for council was put to good use huh?

Monday, January 05, 2004

if its going to be on fridays, i'll not join. yupp.. that's the mutual decision we've made. sorry yunhua. :(

school was great today. bio test aside, actually i thought it was fine. -shrug- the day did not seem long and i trooped home merrily. met weilin halfway, wished her happy birthday. somehow i didnt forget this date. it must be this thing about birthdays. hmm.. her hands were cold, and she stuck her left one out. she's a lefty right?

oh yes, we went to keppel to celebrate ttk's birthday. rawks, i love birthdays.. dont you?

didnt study much last night, reached home tenish and exhuasted. she spoke to us about everything, the most so far i assume. she talked about how i was dropped and how i slipped. she wasnt blaming me or anything yet somehow i felt sad. like i failed or smth. i know they'll say its good cos of the short time and yada yada yada. but that's no excuse. i felt like crying right there and then. instead, i stared at myself, looked up at her, and smiled. smiles never seem to fail you in times like these, wonderful eh?

i could live with a nap each evening. how refreshing.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

my parents arent very pleased. why? i only got home at eleven today. -frowns- its only the start of school. i know i have a test on a lot on monday. but you dont know tt.. hmm.. i dont get it about me having class at six tmr. so? it wont take up much right? i feel that my holiday just started actually, the previous month has been stuffed full. ack. its only when i bite off more than i can chew that i get results. look at last year, i had like.. woah, that i dropped stuff along the way. i couldnt make it for so many lessons till she got pissed and worried. i wanted to go out so much more. i reached home at like.. tenish-eleven daily. i didnt do homework. i didnt listen in class. i couldnt make it for hiphop and jazz. i.. everything. and yet i managed to scrape through and even got my hundred. well maybe it was real extreme the last time round, this time its not. so... relax k?

on a lighter note, ate like.. a pig today. arghhh.. i know jialing and waichee and sx said i look fat. blah blah blah blah. but it was so fun i didnt feel like spoiling it. the popcorn and the icecream and the pasta. when i saw the welsh girls take their graduating year photo, i wished we were in the same class. -yearns- i'm not close to my class. yeah, that's the truth. oh well, i'm not living up to my resolutions.. and its only day one. save more spend less, it didnt go very well today and maybe not for the month to come. eat more baos, we'll see.

saw andy today, girl. he cut his hair. i miss him. i miss those times and the "turn on your sad face. -snaps-", and them making fun of my dance. -bish- sam just msged me. bunny mentioned him again. not too sure if she's right. let's see if i'm smart enought ok?

2004. wow. i shall study this year. well, at least i said it.

thinking through the events of yesterday. i'm exhuasted. reached home and dropped dead an hour later. the bruise on my foot still hurts when i walk. somehow dancing at ny doesnt bring satisfaction anymore.. should i continue? dancing twice in a day has its toll.. i felt ready to go home after piles. -thinks- i really need to sort this out. help me someone? but it was fun doing the pattern stuff. i love dancing with my group again! i'm so thankful that my wish got granted, i'm blue.

if only koen was in my school. then she, me and flippy would be together.

ok, i'm tired, goodbye.
thinks: maybe, after everything.. hmm.. angel is not bad?

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