Monday, May 31, 2004
23:19
thirtyfirstmay. that's today.
`nuff said.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
21:27
beefcake said, 6 more days.
huiqi said, 4 more days.
the unexpected are doing it for me.. i cant wait. sort of
Thursday, May 20, 2004
23:53
expo turns eighteen today.
23:41
i just want to rip my nail off. its what killing me. they dont get blistered and battered anymore. but i've lost all ipsp. there's a wad of flesh where it used to be skin. you think it'd be better but its just numb. almost
snowflake like, minus the bruises.
she said, 'good' once. but it was an easy one.
yf, guess what. she can spell. and she spelt it out for me. i should have betted with yunhua this week instead of the previous. oh well.. its not a big deal. -_-
whateverrrr.
i discover that mostly i just let pple think what they want because i'm oh so lazy to clarify. but then.. who cares? i have too much pride in me to get attached.
thanks to my mum, i've brought this little balloon of mine down to the ground. let's hope it stays that way. mental note, stay away from gtang! she said, "these are best as smth you enjoy." its true. i mean, i want everything. almost.
and i say i want to settle down.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
23:02
i've just been through an extremely horrifying experience. you dont want to know what. i swear my skin's gonna rot or smth! eeps!!!
today my body guard offered to copy my math notes. doubt he understood the lecture. haha~ i was busy feeding of chuanwei's aq. then when i waved bye today he came after me to chat. so much for being afraid huh.. but i'm not complaining.
Saturday, May 15, 2004
11:27
people always run off when they think they've stepped on my toes. do i really appear that petty?
Friday, May 14, 2004
23:43
today i broke it and had a kids size vanilla. -bish-
ran into yifen in town today. i know you'll be reading this girl so.. i missed you loads! -hugs- why wont you come back? after you've had your rest k.. promise. it just felt so good talking to her again. like nothing has changed. oh, but everything has. for one, i went back after like.. six weeks? we're the first group to end yet the last to start. sigh.. it was crap yesterday. i thought she would tell me the usual, like niao me about where i've been and my fatness. she asked us to dance again. even though our performance was like crap yesterday. couldnt even spin. but then again, i never could. oh well.. its in a week's time and we may be doing amiwawa. thankfully i'm very free now. i would really really like to do shakalaka though. its so cool. oh well.. let's hope the olympics pple doing change their minds about children. -crosses fingers-
damien said that if i did i would make a good one. second person to confirm it. doesnt sound so bad after all actually.
i saw a ronald guy
i wished i had studied for chem. maybe then i would have known how to do it. it was pretty doable. wasted.
they're all sleeping.
i realise..
1) if i were an only child, i would spent so much less time at home.
2) i can feel my hamstrings when i walk. and you know i dont ache there.
3) it all lies in the unsaid. i'm not as shallow as that.
Thursday, May 13, 2004
01:14
i just came back from watching troy. rocks.
Monday, May 10, 2004
20:59
soph said she could write a book about her.
i think i can too. maybe without the lh experiences, haha~ all i need is an eating disorder of some sort. -thinks-
Saturday, May 08, 2004
21:44
today was great. extremely eventful
huiping you rock. the idol of the day. i'm so proud! -beams-
had a fun time shopping. tried on so many, the girl has quite good taste. the dress was.. so darn pretty!
decided to stay on and not go for our swim. glad we did cos i met my cbno again. yayy! i was talking about ipsp and stuff when suddenly i starting sprouting cbno talk. haha~ we had a strategic location too. :) talked a lot. i said and showed more about myself than i usually would.
saw two william hung guys and couldnt stop laughing like mad.
baked a cake which is cooling now. icing and all is already prepared. so efficient. :) it smells fantastic.
i hope you like the rock we gave you.
Friday, May 07, 2004
21:44
oh. it has officially be more than a month since i last danced.
dang!
21:41
today she bombarded me with angel questions. on the way back i remembered that he models for charb modeling agency. no wonder i thought i saw someone that looked alike on a mag.
today he tried ask me bout my boyfriend. :/ of course, he didnt succeed. haha~
today on my walk i remembered the time when nat called me. it was on a day with a similiar weather. she wanted to bring me to this nice park nearby after dance. i couldnt find it.
i'm really thinking and it all seems so so so possible. but i'll just be inflating the bubble that will eventually be popped. yet.. i guess i should stop playing with my feelings. you know that i'm not like any other person. i cant do the things i want to do like them. i'm inhibited. its going to be less possible for me. yet he talked about it like its so within my reach.. so real. but how bout my dreams.. my current dreams. not that this isnt a dream, it was.
21:32
was at soph's and i realise how very much alike we are.. or appear to be at least. she says all the things i want to say but dont. there are times when i just want to talk to her and tell her all the things that have been happening recently. i mean.. no history needed. she was there when they happened. heh~
went to estivo today with stoney and niggy. ate so much.. blahh. the mango ish nice! i walked back to school by the road less traveled. i got semi lost. oops.. i managed to maneuver my way back to linden drive up and down those steep slopes, admiring the houses, then i sort of got disorientated and made a wrong turn. you see i thought i was near vanda road.. anyway i was continuing my delightful jouney when i realised that the numbers were getting bigger and somehow the houses looked out of place. i never noticed but i suppose somehow the surroundings which i have never been to before got stashed up there in my subconcious mind. i tried desperately to think where i was going and if the school was really at 2 linden drive or some other weird number. while i was still trying to pry open my database, i turned and walked in the other direction. then i saw it.. the long straight road flanked by gigantic houses. so i made it back to school and met the very funny guard.
talked a lot to gtang today. he still recognises me! yayy.. haha~ i wish i was dancing all over again. it always happens. he told me that. he also told me that i should pursue a dance scholarship and blah blah blah.. but seriously does he really think i'm that good to dance in germany or for bolshoi ballet? or for the belgium choreographers? oh well..
"why cant you be that one?" he left me speechless with that. i hate to be left speechless.
he was expecting me to be up there for our dance. but.. i mean, he was really expecting me to. doesnt he know that old pple can be lifted? oh well.. i wonder who took my place.
i bought very expensive pocky for huiping. i really hope she does well tmrw. i'm sure she will. i prayed for her.. everytime i think about it. but its still expensive pocky. rest well huiping! :)
Thursday, May 06, 2004
20:38
nice layout?
20:36
sometimes people can be a little insensitive. or maybe i'm too sensitive. i try to control myself and the words that i say. and i do. yet somehow it makes me appear like my brain doesnt work fast enough. should i be concerned? i know that there are pple out there who take pride in making snide remarks that hurt and tease others. i dont think its very nice. neither does it help them look good. sure it attracks a lot of attention but.. its not exactly the best sort. i know i'm not one of them. i know too that i should stand up to them, but what can i say? give me the wisdom to know the right thing to do and the courage to do it. i shall not let a little dumb comment push me off my feet, shall i? like lucy say.. water off a ducks back. maybe that's why i didnt hear like.. everything else she say. but the i digress again..
Monday, May 03, 2004
20:55
it was nice to talk to you today. still have the little red baseball you gave me a long long time ago. remember?
20:54
everytime i think of you i get a shot right through into a bolt of blue. its not problem of mine but its a problem i find, living a life i cant leave behind. everytime i see you falling, i'll get down on my knees and pray. i feel fine and i feel good, i feel like i never should. whenever i get this way i just dont know what to say.. i'm not sure what this could mean. i'm waiting for that final moment you say the words that i cant say.
